


More than skin deep

by Charity Layne (JestaFairyOfPranks), JestaFairyOfPranks



Series: Desmitri Fam Fics [13]
Category: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Cutting, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Trigger warnings:, des needs a hug, dimitri Wants to help des, i would tag more but honestly the fic speaks for itself, knife, no betas we die like (insert bad taste joke here), ok now normal tags, past trauma, poor des, talk of trauma, unhappy gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JestaFairyOfPranks/pseuds/Charity%20Layne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JestaFairyOfPranks/pseuds/JestaFairyOfPranks
Summary: Des tries to appease his intrusive thoughts
Relationships: Desmond Sycamore/Dimitri allen, Jean Descole/dimitri Allen
Series: Desmitri Fam Fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057361
Kudos: 5





	More than skin deep

**Author's Note:**

> READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING   
> THERE ARE TRIGGERING THINGS IN THIS FIC

_ The sharpness of the silver blade. _

_ The color of blood. _

_ The pain of the cut. _

_ The freedom from the thoughts. _

All this swirling through his mind as he broke down in the bathroom with the lights off.

The scars had just started to heal, but some evil, twisted part of Descole’s brain refused to let them go away.

_ It’s all your fault. _

_ This is only a fraction of the pain they suffered. _

_ Let the sight of your own blood oozing from your skin be a reminder. _

_ All your fault. _

_ You should be dead. _

Des looked at the sharp knife he held in his right hand. The tip was covered in his own blood. A sight he thought he’d never have to see again ever since  _ he  _ came home.

But the voices came back, as they always did.

Extending his left hand again, he placed the tip of the knife onto the beginning of a healing scar. 

He applied pressure, attempting to pierce the skin.

He couldn’t.

All he could think about was  _ him. _

_ Him,  _ who had brought love back into his pitiful life.

_ Him,  _ who was so handsome and smart and strong and  _ perfect. _

_ Him _ who was…

Standing in the doorway.

“DESCOLE!” He screamed, horrified by the sight of Descole’s self-made cuts, still bleeding.

“Dimitri I-” Des tried to explain.

“DESCOLE WHAT WERE YOU DOING?” Dimitri sounded heartbroken. “Did you- was it an accident or…”

“...” Des looked away. The light was still off, and it was dark in the room. 

“Descole, answer me!” Dimitri grabbed Descole by the wrists and pulled him up. “Did… did you do this to yourself?”

“...” Descole tried to blink the tears forming in his eyes away, and failed. “... _ yes!” _ He yelled.

“Descole…” Dimitri said both cautiously and sternly. “Why? Why would you do this?”

“I…” but Des couldn’t say why. He couldn’t. No. Dimitri wouldn’t understand! He would push him away! NO! HE COULDN'T BE ALONE AGAIN! 

But then…

Dimitri turned the lights on. Des became even more aware of his surroundings.

His shirt sleeves were stained with his own blood. He hadn’t even realized it, but Dimitri had taken the knife away. And Dimitri…

Dimitri had rolled up his left sleeve.

“...here,” Dimitri admitted, revealing his own set of scars. They were closer to being fully healed (Des guessed that Dimitri didn’t have the same inner demons that he had) and were farther apart than his own. “I know your pain, Descole.”

“Dimitri, I-” but Descole was cut off by Dimitri bringing Des in for a hug. While in his boyfriend’s arms, Des started to cry.

“Descole,” Dimitri comforted, “I love you, I’m here for you. I’ll never leave you. But… Why did you do this?”

“They told me too…” Des said through his tears. “The voices. They say Olivia and Violet’s deaths were my fault. They say I deserve to bleed. That I don’t deserve to live. The only way I can make them quiet down is to… cut myself.”

“Des…” Dimitri hugged Des tighter. “They’re wrong. You were  _ not  _ responsible for  _ any  _ deaths. You  _ don’t  _ deserve to bleed. You  _ deserve life _ ! I love you, and you love me. Anastasia sees you as her father. Your brother wants to know you. Your students no doubt see you as a great teacher. Charity likes to work with you. You are still wanted in this world. And anyone, or any _ thing _ who says otherwise is straight up  _ wrong. _ I  _ love  _ you, Des. I promise.”

“...” Des had been fighting these thoughts for over a decade. They weren’t going to go away just because Dimitri said a few nice words. However… “Dimitri…” and Des looked his boyfriend straight in the eyes. “I… I need you to help me. I don’t want to do this anymore. If you can help me…”

“How can I best help you, Des?” Dimitri asked. “What would you like me to do?”

“...” Des looked away, and mumbled something.

“What?”

“I said… Kiss me. I… I love physical contact, you know…”

And Dimitri did just that.

There was a long road to recovery, but at least Dimitri was there to help.

Every step of the way.


End file.
